What's BEEN Going ON!!!

It has been a long while since I have wrote, my apologies, but I have a very good reason!! Let me explain!!
I completed my marathon in April 2013.  I ran the St. Jude Country Music Marathon in Nashville, TN.  It was the most amazing experience of my life!! It rained (POURED) the whole time and I loved every painful minute of it... why you ask?  Because I didn't run it alone!!!!!!

I ran my very first marathon that I have been dreaming of since high school, trained my butt off all through winter with a little bun in the oven!! YUP that's right, 2 week before the marathon, I started feeling SUPER tired... but I didn't think anything of it since I had been running ALOT.  I also missed my period, so I went and got a pregnancy test and lo and behold POSITIVE!! I went to the Dr. and it was confirmed that I was indeed prego!! My next question to the Dr. was of course, can I still run this marathon, and without hesitation the answer was yes.  But in my heart, I have to confess, I was so scared.  Having had multiple miscarriages made me feel like I needed to stop everything I was doing and just sit on my couch until the baby was born.  I had a really hard time.  But after praying and talking to my husband and friends, I went for it!! I remember while running the last training run before the marathon, I always pray and talk to God and all I could hear Him say was to Be Brave.  So I did it, I was brave and I ran that marathon in the pouring rain 8 weeks pregnant!! :) Here are a couple of pics

The day before the race, I was able to find a "Running for Two" tank from One More Mile, the back says "You've just been passed by a pregnant lady!"  I got alot of compliments about it during the race!!! 

This was right at the end of the marathon

It took all the energy that I had to hold up that medal!!

 I finished the marathon in 5:45.02, It was not what I had hoped for in time but for me, just finding the strength to run the marathon is so much bigger!! I felt like I broke through walls in my heart and in my mind.  I didn't let fear overcome my thoughts, instead I believed in the promise that God  gave me a year ago and I ran that marathon in faith that it would be completed with no harm to myself or the baby!!!

I cried at the end, I was so tired, I definitely hit the "wall" I could barely walk to the car and when I sat down, I had to move my legs into the car with my hands.  I showered, ate and slept for a long time in the hotel while my husband took my girls out for a while.  I woke up still sore but with such joy in my heart!! I DID IT!!


With that said, I am now 22 weeks pregnant, running strong with a baby girl (FAITH) in my belly.  We are currently training for a half marathon in a couple of weeks. All is well and this pregnancy has been amazing!!

More to come!! :) I've got lots to tell about running while pregnant!!

A little over a year ago...

Week 18... I am near the finish of marathon training!!! This has been an amazing experience.  I have had an amazing coach to lead and teach me along the way.  The taper is playing with my emotions, I am enjoying the extra rest but I kind of feel "on edge" like I have built up energy.  I know that is good for the marathon on Saturday, so I am taking the runs slow and easy paced just as Coach Erin has directed me to. I am sooo excited, I can already envision myself at the start line and already have the butterflies.  I reviewed the course map over and over again.  I've read reviews on the marathon and watched you tube videos.  My mind is in a good place.  I'm not doubting myself one bit.  I have done the work and I have proof!! The training plan Coach Erin made for me is long and full of hours and hours of running!! It's all there!! I KNOW I can do this. 




There is also the very emotional/ reflective woman in me that has been in tears because I am actually doing it!!! I am running a marathon.  Last year, the same weekend (April 28) I ran my first 5k since high school. and now, a year later I am days away from running my first marathon!! Tears of pure joy!!

I wanted to share with you all my vlog post from a youtube account I set up last year.  This was in middle March, when I finally stopped smoking.  I was so special for me to be able to look back on this and see how far I've come!!

Take a look!!

Something special...

Well ONE more week until the marathon, can you believe it??!! It seems like the time flew by.  This journey was not easy but it has been worth it!! I ran my first ever 20 miler two weeks ago and I have to say that I feel ready for the marathon.  I am very excited and overwhelmed with joy!! :) God is Good!! I had decided for the marathon I wanted to buy a necklace with Grace and Hope's names and also something to remember my babies in heaven.  I researched a couple of running websites and the prices were extremely high for necklaces that were custom made.  So I decided to create my own special necklace for this special day.  I went on eBay and searched "angel wing charm."  I found a listing for 2 angel wing charms and contacted the seller to ask if she would add one more and she gladly added it free of charge.  (a total of $3.23)

In memory of my babies in heaven

My 3 angel babies

So as I said before making a custom necklace can be pricey.  I am all about finding a good deal (it's kind of like a challenge for me.)  After looking at some websites, I decided to start browsing Etsy.com.  I came across a store called "Classy Commotion."  This store specializes in affordable hand-stamped gifts.  After looking at a couple of pieces, I decided to contact the seller, Jen to ask her if she would make a custom piece for me.  I was immediately contacted back with a yes.  So here it is!! I paid $12.99.

Isn't it beautiful!!! I LOVE IT!!! Here is a pic of both of the pieces together:

Since I plan to run with these charms, I bought some 16" silicone cords on Ebay as well (4 for $4.79 )

And of course, I HAD to take some pics of it on me!! :) 

I have done my longest runs with the necklace on and it has felt very lightweight and comfortable.  I LOVE it!!  After wearing it, it is best that you put it back in the sealed bag it comes in and if it gets dirty, Jen provides a buffer/directions on how to care for it.  Having this necklace makes the marathon even more precious.  I run for my babies, they inspire me to do things that I never thought I could do. Here's to my babies, I'm running this marathon for you!! 

<3 love u,

 Mommy

Results and a heartcheck

After writing my last blog and talking to Erin, I felt so much peace.

God revealed Himself to me about a year ago and had me on my knees, He promised me that if I gave him my smoking habit (FOR REAL THIS TIME) that He would grant me my dream of running a marathon.

God is FAITHFUL!!!

This journey has not been an easy one, it has taken alot of hard work and dedication.  Through the early morning runs, I have come to know God more that ever and continue to seek Him.  At the age of 28, I am finally finding myself, figuring out who I truly am, what I stand for. I have discovered strength and drive that I had no idea I had.  Each step closer to the marathon brings bigger dreams and confidence to dream big.

Running is therapy to me.  This past year has been a year of healing for me.  I have ran with joy, tears, confusion, frustration and each and every time I have felt release.  Loosing my babies was such a tragic experience in my life, something I won't ever quite understand, but the time I spend running has given me peace.

Sometimes I get off track, I forget His promise to me.  Sometimes I get too caught up in the "I have to run"  feeling that it is not fun.  Some days I don't even wanna run.  But there is never a run I finish that I ever feel like I shouldn't have done it. 

This is my personal journey with God and I feel like He takes the time to remind me every now and then, keep my mind and goal centered on Him.  I can't do it without His presence.


My life has not been the hardest, but it has come with alot of challenges and hurts, alot of confusing moments where I just don't understand why, but I do know that He has been with me through it all.  He has redeemed my life in a big way.  He has given me a chance to live out my dream of becoming a marathoner and has also given me an opportunity to become a mother of strength, a mother who can show her daughters that it is okay to dream, it is okay to have goals and to show them that it IS possible with God!! I can now live my life free of addiction!! My girls will never have to smell cigarette smoke coming from their mother.

My heart in all of this is that I would show and give God the glory in all that I do with my life.  Running is a gift He has given me. May my heart never forget that.

I haven't ran for 2 weeks.  I have experienced alot of emotions. The strongest of them was doubt.  My heart has been so far into this that the thought of not being able to run this marathon was so painful.  I really think God allowed me to go through this to give me the question He has given me since the beginning of this journey: Where is your heart? Where is your focus? I need to constantly be reminded that God is not a "tool" in this journey... He is the finish line!! He is the reason I run and  even though running helps with life, only He completes me.  Running is a gift of worship He has granted me, a door to His presence.

I am very happy to say that this marathon is gonna happen.  There were no broken bones found in my x-rays.  My foot is feeling so much better, I am taking it nice and easy and will continue to train.  Can you believe I have 6 weeks until the marathon??!!! I am so excited!! The butterflies are already starting to be felt.  I can already envision myself at the start line. I'm really doing this!!! My heart is so full as I write this.  God has truly blessed this journey.

 

The Rollercoaster ride of Marathon training

I can't even begin to tell you how challenging this training has been!!! I have actually been feeling really good during runs, I see improvement in pacing and finishing strong, but I have been faced with clumsy injuries!!!! Recovering and staying positive has been the most challenging for me.  I am so thankful for an amazing coach, Erin who understands my heart and recognizes my dedication.  I couldn't do this without her.

So after I ran the Locomotive Half Marathon and P.R'ed, I had twisted my left ankle pretty bad, I iced, elevated and compressed it for a week or so.  I then ran on it for a week with no issues, to be safe, I ordered a compression ankle sleeve and without thinking anything of it, I decided to wear it for the first time on a 16 mile run.  I LOVE long runs!! It seems like the more the mileage, the more excited I am to wake up at 4:00 A.M. to get it done on Saturday mornings.  My heart truly is for the marathon.

I finished pretty strong for my longest run ever.  Since I was still recovering from my ankle I decided to visit Silver Comet Trail which is a beautiful nature- filled bike/running paved trail that is pretty flat.
16 Mile Run
Pace Splits: (12:16/mi., 12:28/mi., 12:07/mi., 11:27/mi., 11:02/mi., 10:51/mi., 10:17/mi., 10:19/mi., 10:50/mi., 11:20/mi., 11:13/mi., 11:19/mi., 10:29/mi., 11:04/mi., 10:23/mi., 9:40/mi.)
Time: 2:57:07.06
Avg. Pace: 11:04/mi.

As soon as I stopped running, I felt a sharp pain on my left foot and immediately took my shoe off and removed the ankle compression sleeve. I could barely put any pressure on my foot.  I stretched, said hello to a friend who was helping with a 5k that was being hosted there and drove home.  As I drove home, I cried so hard that I had to stop to regain my composure.  When I went home, my girls greeted me with lots of love and hugs.  I tried my best to keep a smile on my face, my husband noticed my limping.  I didn't want to make a big deal out of it until I took a look at my foot.  My ankle was a bit swollen but my foot wasn't.  I can honestly say that my body felt good after the run, normally I wanna sleep all day, but I still had energy.  I stretched, rolled and had some breakfast.  I didn't really stay off my feet that day since I had to clean and prepare for my daughter's 4 year bday party the next day.

Gracie is 4!!

  Needless to say I woke up the next day and limped most of the day. (I must of looked so silly!!)  By Monday, it had sinked in that I did something very wrong to my foot!!  Since the compression sleeve stops midfoot and there is a small lining at the end, I really think that I bruised and irritated the area.  I should have tried out the sleeve before wearing it for 16 miles.  A friend of ours, lent us some crutches and I have been taking very good care of it and staying off of it as much as possible.  I had a day or two where I cried ALOT and became discouraged.  But have had the most amazing support from Erin!! Thank you to all my friends who have encouraged me!! A week has passed and I am happy to say I can now walk. It is still a bit tight and sore but it has improved.  I am taking this week off as well and hoping I can start up my training next week.  I have 6 weeks until the marathon.

Running has and continues to be a life teaching tool for me.  Through this training, I have discovered who I really am as an individual.  I struggle with the mental part of it, but there is always this small little voice that says "I can and WILL do it!!" That is the voice that I focus on, my heart is too far into this to quit.  My dreams are far too important to throw in the towel.  I have 2 little precious girls that are living this journey with me each and every day.  They have prayed for my foot (without my asking them) Gracie said the sweetest prayer, she said "Jesus, please heal mommies foot so that she can run her marathon."  Daily, she will ask how my foot is feeling.  My daughters have seen me ice, elevate and use crutches.  They are watching me and I want more than anything to accomplish this goal for them. I know that it will happen, I will run a marathon, even if it is not this particular one. My goal isn't just to run one marathon, it is to be a marathoner and eventually, one day, qualify for the Boston Marathon.  I have to do what is smart and that is take care of this foot!!

 A while ago, I won a contest from Moms Run this Town for a $50 gift certificate from Family Fan Club, I used it to buy a racer-back tank top and matching hat for the marathon and it arrived the Tuesday after I hurt my foot.

Marathon Mama

I LOVE this quote on the back!!

Gonna go see a Doctor today or tomorrow!!

Staying positive!! 

Locomotive Half Marathon Completed

I just completed my second half marathon this past Sunday morning!!  This was week 6 day 5 of marathon training.  I went to the race feeling really confident.  Since the race was very close by to where I live, I decided to do the last 3 long runs on the course, one of which was a 14 miler and did great!  I also did my long training runs in the morning which prepared me for a chilly race day.  My family had to stay home because of the cold, so I went to the race alone.  I went an hour early so that I could find good parking, pickup my race packet, stretch, warm up and use the port a potties. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be.  I did have  a hard time deciding on how much to wear for the race.  I layered with 2 long sleeve shirts and had my black loose Brooks pants over my Under Armour tights, I didn't decide to take off one layer of pants until the last minute of the race (and I'm glad I did.)  I wore light gloves and ended up taking them off and carrying them the whole race.  I guess I know better next time.  Anyways, at the start of the race, I had my iPod shuffle with me and turned it on, turned on my Garmin watch and started running.  About a minute into the race, I turned up the volume on my shuffle, then I heard it, because of the earphones in my ears, I also heard an echo of a cracking.  I ROLLED my left ankle!!! It was so loud and painful.  Everything in me immediately felt discouraged. I felt so mad, I had worked so hard and felt so ready to run this race and then out of no where I roll my ankle.  My running turned into awkward limping as runners passed me by, I then stopped and tried to stretch it out.  That did nothing.  I knew right then and there I was gonna have to make a choice, I was either gonna drop out of the race, limp back to my car, go home and into my comfy warm bed and call it a day or I was gonna keep on running and finish the race.  I decided to keep on going and I am so glad I did!!
After about the first mile my ankle stopped hurting, I was able to focus more on the race.  Every now and then I wondered if I had made the right decision, I also wondered why I couldn't feel the pain anymore.  I guess I have the cold to thank for that! :)   I have to say that God showed up as He always does in my races and reminded me of the painful moments in my life, He showed me that He was with me, just as He was with me during this race.  I was literally running with tears in my eyes as I was shown just how faithful He is.  How greatly He wants me to succeed in accomplishing my goals and dreams.  I ran that race with more passion, more drive, more strength than I ever did before.  I had hoped to run this half marathon faster than the Allstate Half (2:18) but I wasn't sure I was going to be able to with my ankle.  I did feel good the whole way through and made sure to keep a pace that was comfortable yet competitive. I kept positive the whole way through as well.  The end was tough though, I did start getting tired around mile 12 but didn't wanna slow down.  I was able to finish strong.  My official time was 2:13:32.45.  I couldn't believe it when I saw the time!! My personal record by 5 minutes with a ROLLED ANKLE!!!!

Check out my Medal!! :)

Oh and when I crossed that finish line, I definitely felt the ankle, but I was so overwhelmed and excited with my time!!! The finish line is still the best feeling in the world!!! I placed 11th in my age group, got a pretty awesome medal and left that race with a new level of strength. 

AND since this is my blog I am posting a pic of my ankle: WARNING!!

Taken on Monday(no longer purple, swelling went down a bit)

And lastly a picture sample  from the race that I LOVE!!! To me, it symbolizes so much in my life. Even though I had a pretty bad beginning of the race, I was able to pick myself up and keep on going, even forgot about the pain, enjoyed every bit of the race, because it's what I LOVE to do and I'm willing to go through some pain to get to where I want to be.  I am determined and I am so thankful that God has allowed me to chase after my running dreams!! :)

Pure Happiness!!

Next up, continue to train for the marathon.  I can't believe it is less than 3 months away!!!

Resolutions

So its almost the end of February... I wonder how everyone is doing with their New Years Resolutions.  I really didn't make any publicly, but I did observe people on social media either sharing their resolutions or judging others who make resolutions.  Now I'm a peaceful person, I like to be able to see other peoples views on things, different perspectives.  I guess for some people, its just easier to make commitments, or maybe they are on the top of the mountain and reached their goals and have lost sight of the feeling of the climb up...
But I really wanted to share my heart....

I heard people talking about how their gyms were gonna be packed and how "annoying" it would be and then give these people a month or two until they stopped coming.  That may be true.  I remember how hard I tried to stay strong to my commitments to getting healthier and getting fit and how many times I gave up.  But instead of watching people make these commitments... why don't we help them along the way??  My heart is to encourage others on their journey, I know how great it feels to be thought of, to have someone just let you know that they are there for you.  It really is tough to keep resolutions.  To change and break cycles and change a whole way of living.
When I had decided I wanted to start trying to run again, I researched local running groups, I found a certain one who stated "all runners are welcome" I arrived at the meetup and immediately felt out of place, I wore baggy yoga pants and a t-shirt... Overweight... embarrassed.  Everyone there looked like they had been running for at least 1 year or more. I ended up running by myself and left... needless to say I never went back again.  And I'm almost sure I didn't try running again for quite a while.  Being overweight really takes over your mind and feelings.

One experience I had was one that was so very impacting and it really is amazing how one positive person with kind words of encouragment along my journey so here it is...

After I had visited this running club... I was definitely discouraged, I thought well maybe if I lost some weight and went back maybe they would be more accepting.  It probably took me about a month to look into other running groups to give a try, So I found on meetup.com a group called Divas Run in Atlanta, I decided I would give it another try, this was probably the first time I ventured out to Atlanta for a group run ever, so I did get lost, but once I did find the gym where the meet up was, I was greeted by a sweet lady named Sher, she was so welcoming, and inviting.  As we stretched we  talked about upcoming races, she shared for passion for running and the things that she did in her community, it was so nice to be treated as "another runner" and not some outsider and I obviously didnt look like a runner.  After we stretched and chatted for a bit, we headed out for a 3 mile loop.  In my head, I figured 3 miles wouldnt be too hard, but it was so challenging at the time, I started off strong and then fell back, the negative thoughts came up and I stopped, part of me just wanted to turn around and leave, before I could even react, Sher (who was quite a ways in front of me, came up and encouraged me to keep on going, she ran with me, talked to me, I was able to share with her my heart and how badly I wanted to be a runner again.  I cant quite remember the things that she said, but I know that she shared her story with me, she encouraged me to keep on running.  Those 3 miles felt like eternity, but it was such a great feeling to have completed it.  I left the meetup with a new hope, with a seed of encouragement.

As I write this I get emotional... such a small act of kindess has definitely went a long way. The sweetest thing was that when she saw my article on Women's Running Magazine, she noticed me and congratulated me.  It has to have been about 2 years ago when I met her.  Thank you Sher!!! You have no idea the impact you have made in my life and in my heart!!

And here I sit, a month and a half into marathon training, I have logged 85 miles in January, just ran my 2nd half marathon over the weekend.  I prefer double digit miles now... 3 miles is just a warm up. :)

My goals and dreams are bigger now, but I know that if I work hard toward them, they will be reached.  I don't doubt it anymore.  I have people like Sher to thank.

 So whether you are going strong on your resolutions and commitments for this New Year or you've lost sight, or hope of them, tomorrow is another day.

MAKE RESOLUTIONS!! TRY AND TRY!!! and if you fail... GET BACK UP AND TRY AGAIN...

It's in these moments where you get stronger... where you discover a drive, a passion, a little voice that says "I can do it."