Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Results and a heartcheck

After writing my last blog and talking to Erin, I felt so much peace.

God revealed Himself to me about a year ago and had me on my knees, He promised me that if I gave him my smoking habit (FOR REAL THIS TIME) that He would grant me my dream of running a marathon.

God is FAITHFUL!!!

This journey has not been an easy one, it has taken alot of hard work and dedication.  Through the early morning runs, I have come to know God more that ever and continue to seek Him.  At the age of 28, I am finally finding myself, figuring out who I truly am, what I stand for. I have discovered strength and drive that I had no idea I had.  Each step closer to the marathon brings bigger dreams and confidence to dream big.

Running is therapy to me.  This past year has been a year of healing for me.  I have ran with joy, tears, confusion, frustration and each and every time I have felt release.  Loosing my babies was such a tragic experience in my life, something I won't ever quite understand, but the time I spend running has given me peace.

Sometimes I get off track, I forget His promise to me.  Sometimes I get too caught up in the "I have to run"  feeling that it is not fun.  Some days I don't even wanna run.  But there is never a run I finish that I ever feel like I shouldn't have done it. 

This is my personal journey with God and I feel like He takes the time to remind me every now and then, keep my mind and goal centered on Him.  I can't do it without His presence.

My life has not been the hardest, but it has come with alot of challenges and hurts, alot of confusing moments where I just don't understand why, but I do know that He has been with me through it all.  He has redeemed my life in a big way.  He has given me a chance to live out my dream of becoming a marathoner and has also given me an opportunity to become a mother of strength, a mother who can show her daughters that it is okay to dream, it is okay to have goals and to show them that it IS possible with God!! I can now live my life free of addiction!! My girls will never have to smell cigarette smoke coming from their mother.

My heart in all of this is that I would show and give God the glory in all that I do with my life.  Running is a gift He has given me. May my heart never forget that.

I haven't ran for 2 weeks.  I have experienced alot of emotions. The strongest of them was doubt.  My heart has been so far into this that the thought of not being able to run this marathon was so painful.  I really think God allowed me to go through this to give me the question He has given me since the beginning of this journey: Where is your heart? Where is your focus? I need to constantly be reminded that God is not a "tool" in this journey... He is the finish line!! He is the reason I run and  even though running helps with life, only He completes me.  Running is a gift of worship He has granted me, a door to His presence.

I am very happy to say that this marathon is gonna happen.  There were no broken bones found in my x-rays.  My foot is feeling so much better, I am taking it nice and easy and will continue to train.  Can you believe I have 6 weeks until the marathon??!!! I am so excited!! The butterflies are already starting to be felt.  I can already envision myself at the start line. I'm really doing this!!! My heart is so full as I write this.  God has truly blessed this journey.


Wednesday, March 13, 2013

The Rollercoaster ride of Marathon training

I can't even begin to tell you how challenging this training has been!!! I have actually been feeling really good during runs, I see improvement in pacing and finishing strong, but I have been faced with clumsy injuries!!!! Recovering and staying positive has been the most challenging for me.  I am so thankful for an amazing coach, Erin who understands my heart and recognizes my dedication.  I couldn't do this without her.

So after I ran the Locomotive Half Marathon and P.R'ed, I had twisted my left ankle pretty bad, I iced, elevated and compressed it for a week or so.  I then ran on it for a week with no issues, to be safe, I ordered a compression ankle sleeve and without thinking anything of it, I decided to wear it for the first time on a 16 mile run.  I LOVE long runs!! It seems like the more the mileage, the more excited I am to wake up at 4:00 A.M. to get it done on Saturday mornings.  My heart truly is for the marathon.

I finished pretty strong for my longest run ever.  Since I was still recovering from my ankle I decided to visit Silver Comet Trail which is a beautiful nature- filled bike/running paved trail that is pretty flat.
16 Mile Run
Pace Splits: (12:16/mi., 12:28/mi., 12:07/mi., 11:27/mi., 11:02/mi., 10:51/mi., 10:17/mi., 10:19/mi., 10:50/mi., 11:20/mi., 11:13/mi., 11:19/mi., 10:29/mi., 11:04/mi., 10:23/mi., 9:40/mi.)
Time: 2:57:07.06
Avg. Pace: 11:04/mi.

As soon as I stopped running, I felt a sharp pain on my left foot and immediately took my shoe off and removed the ankle compression sleeve. I could barely put any pressure on my foot.  I stretched, said hello to a friend who was helping with a 5k that was being hosted there and drove home.  As I drove home, I cried so hard that I had to stop to regain my composure.  When I went home, my girls greeted me with lots of love and hugs.  I tried my best to keep a smile on my face, my husband noticed my limping.  I didn't want to make a big deal out of it until I took a look at my foot.  My ankle was a bit swollen but my foot wasn't.  I can honestly say that my body felt good after the run, normally I wanna sleep all day, but I still had energy.  I stretched, rolled and had some breakfast.  I didn't really stay off my feet that day since I had to clean and prepare for my daughter's 4 year bday party the next day.
Gracie is 4!!

  Needless to say I woke up the next day and limped most of the day. (I must of looked so silly!!)  By Monday, it had sinked in that I did something very wrong to my foot!!  Since the compression sleeve stops midfoot and there is a small lining at the end, I really think that I bruised and irritated the area.  I should have tried out the sleeve before wearing it for 16 miles.  A friend of ours, lent us some crutches and I have been taking very good care of it and staying off of it as much as possible.  I had a day or two where I cried ALOT and became discouraged.  But have had the most amazing support from Erin!! Thank you to all my friends who have encouraged me!! A week has passed and I am happy to say I can now walk. It is still a bit tight and sore but it has improved.  I am taking this week off as well and hoping I can start up my training next week.  I have 6 weeks until the marathon.

Running has and continues to be a life teaching tool for me.  Through this training, I have discovered who I really am as an individual.  I struggle with the mental part of it, but there is always this small little voice that says "I can and WILL do it!!" That is the voice that I focus on, my heart is too far into this to quit.  My dreams are far too important to throw in the towel.  I have 2 little precious girls that are living this journey with me each and every day.  They have prayed for my foot (without my asking them) Gracie said the sweetest prayer, she said "Jesus, please heal mommies foot so that she can run her marathon."  Daily, she will ask how my foot is feeling.  My daughters have seen me ice, elevate and use crutches.  They are watching me and I want more than anything to accomplish this goal for them. I know that it will happen, I will run a marathon, even if it is not this particular one. My goal isn't just to run one marathon, it is to be a marathoner and eventually, one day, qualify for the Boston Marathon.  I have to do what is smart and that is take care of this foot!!

 A while ago, I won a contest from Moms Run this Town for a $50 gift certificate from Family Fan Club, I used it to buy a racer-back tank top and matching hat for the marathon and it arrived the Tuesday after I hurt my foot.

Marathon Mama

I LOVE this quote on the back!!

Gonna go see a Doctor today or tomorrow!!
Staying positive!!